Shortbread

There's something about Christmas and shortbread, isn't there?  They seem to go together.  I seldom make shortbread outside of the holidays.  At least, not straight up, unadulterated shortbread.  I'll add chocolate chips or dried berries or citrus zest to it.  But plain, buttery shortbread seems to be reserved for Christmas.

I had a package of unsalted, cultured butter in the fridge which I had bought for something else that never did get made.  I thought it would make a lovely cookie, and so I pulled it out to soften.  I found a recipe that used plain flour and some icing sugar, plus a whisper of vanilla.  It sounded lovely.  The softened butter danced in the mixer with the sugar until it was a fluffy mass on the sides of the bowl.  I added a restrained splash of vanilla and smiled.  By the time my 4 year old and I had patted out the soft dough, scored it and docked it with little fork marks, I was eagerly anticipating the cookies that would come.  Going against my own nature, I waited for them to cool before sneaking a taste from a crumbly corner.  The flaky fleck almost melted on my tongue.  Such a wonderful texture.  And then... nothing.  No flavour.  Just blandness. 

I forgot the salt!  The scant 1/4 tsp of savoury balance that holds together the very fabric of the food world was still in my little blue salt pig.  The subtle nuance of flavour from the expensive block of cultured butter was lost forever, and the whisper of vanilla was mute.  I tried in vain to salvage the batch, smearing some of the biscuits with melted chocolate and a sprinkle of salt, but it was too late.  There was no saving them.  Though, to be honest, my husband will probably still eat them all.  He just loves shortbread and can't bear for it to go to waste.

Tonight I'm making a batch of savoury shortbread with Oka cheese, walnuts and dried cranberries.  And salt.

Oh yeah. Duh.

I tried to make candy for my ladies gourmet night.  Twice.  A single batch, and then a double.  And nothing worked.  At first, I thought it was the granulated sugar that I rolled the fruit jellies in, instead of icing sugar.  I thought perhaps the hygroscopic properties of the sugar was the culprit that was making my candies weep and soften.  But the next day the same happened when I used the powdered sugar.  And then I looked outside.  And realized it had been raining heavily for a couple of days.  Um, duh.  High humidity and candy don't mix.  I know this.  And yet somehow I totally spaced on such a simple fact.

That's okay.  I didn't even end up going anyway.  Seriously.  I skipped my beloved gourmet night.  In favour or what, you ask?  Sanity.  Simple sanity.

Wednesday was a stressful day, coming off of a stressful several days (did you read my last post?)  I was frustrated by my candy failure, unimpressed with my appetizer offering (barbecue pulled pork wontons), short with the kids, spinning in circles in my own mind, and feeling like my breaking point was in sight.  My friend was coming to pick me up just after 7:00.  Hubby took the kids out just before 6:00.  Between those two times, I called my friend to let her know that I just was not going.  I asked her to come by and pick up my appetizers, and convey my apologies to the group.  I couldn't go.  The thought of socializing, even with friends, was too much.  The thought of sitting at someone else's house, sitting on the couch watching a movie left me realizing that if I was going to spend the evening in front of the TV, I wanted it to be with my husband. 

And do you know what happened?  The moment I hung up the phone and sat down to continue making my appetizers, I smiled.  I began singing the Christmas song on the radio.  My heart lifted and I felt... good.  Like I'd sprinted back from the brink to a cozy, safe place where I could sprawl out and breathe.  The relief was palpable.  And it felt wonderful.  I'd made the choice to do something for me.  And I didn't regret it or feel selfish.  And I got to put my kids to bed and give them extra cuddles, and I got to curl up with my husband for a little TV and, most importantly, time spent sharing the same space without running here and there.  It was a good decision.  One I won't hesitate to make again.

If My Inspiration Returns

Our four year old princess has been sick for a bit now.  What started out nearly 2 weeks ago as a fever and cough progressed to what we thought was the flu, then maybe nothing, then maybe Roseola, then.... We really don't know.  Any of the above are still on the table, but the bottom line is that she has this wet, lingering cough that is keeping her (and me) from sleeping well and has been the suspected root cause of her throwing up at least 3 times in the past week and a half.  Taking medicine also triggers her gag reflex (though not immediately - a few minutes after willingly taking it).  Now she won't take anything at all.  I don't blame her, mind you.  All of this has left me quite stressed.  And tired.  Very tired.

This week I have a couple of things requiring my time in the kitchen.  I need to make cupcakes for the kids for an event with a group that says it's "nut aware."  We've come to realize that what they mean is that they know peanut allergies exist.  Period.  It doesn't mean that they take any steps to choose safe snacks for affected children.  Don't get me started.  I wish that Babycakes mini-cupcake maker was available in Canada. 

Anyway, there is also my ladies gourmet night.  We're doing a goodie exchange and tapas.  We need to bring 4 1/2 dozen of something, plus appetizers for 8.  I have my dishes in mind.  Pink grapefruit "Turkish delight" (jelly candies, which I'll roll in white sugar and citric acid, for zing), and Asiago frico cups filled with balsamic drizzled arugula and topped with some smoked prosciutto.  Sounds simple?  And it is.  Except my motivation has vanished along with my energy.  I'm debating going at all at this point.  I want to, but I don't, kwim?

What I really want is to take an evening when all of this sick is over and get a hotel room, by myself.  I want to zone out alone, just staring at the wall if I choose to, knowing that short of a fire in the potted plant in the hall or a Spider Man wanna-be smashing through the window in my room, I will not be required to do anything.  Nothing will be demanded of me.  No one will need me to fetch water, get a snack, find socks, wash clothes....

I guess I'm just feeling a bit burnt out.  There is enough positive to keep me going right now.  It's just hard to focus on when I'm so worn down.  Little Miss is really doing okay.  We'll take her to the doctor later, just to find out what's going on and if it's running its course.  I can't imagine trying to give her anything for it at this point.  She's so gun-shy that we'd never get it in, let alone figure out how to make her keep it down.  But I'm heading into the negative again.  Ultimately she's still relatively perky, still cuddly, still her happy self.  Just not as often.  And her brother, who I need to stop referring to as "Little Mister" now that he's turned seven, is taking the lack of attention relatively well.  Must remember to focus some time just for him today.

I'm going to take some time to dwell on the pluses, rather than the minuses, and see where that gets me today.  Prayer is a great way to shift from looking inward at the bad stuff to outward at our blessings.  I'll admit it's not always my go-to solution, though.

So, if I end up roasting the chicken I bought on the weekend (assuming it's still good) rather than sticking it in the freezer, we can assume things are looking up.  I'll Tweet about it later and let you know.

Let the season begin

And just like that, we're hurtling towards Christmas.  Wasn't it just Hallowe'en?  Wasn't it just early October?  So now we sit, on the edge of the cliff, ready to base jump into "the holiday season."  Some have already taken the plunge, diving headlong into the lights and trees and garland and bows.  Others hang back from even peering over for another few weeks.  Me?  I'm gearing up to rappel down for a bit, easing into things so that I don't miss a lot on the way by.

I began playing Christmas music the other day.  Just a little, and mostly instrumental.  I'm not ready for full fledged choirs singing Angels We Have Heard on High yet.  Though I'll admit that I've begun dreaming of a White Christmas and longing for a little snow (it was 17C yesterday).

And I've begun... no, not baking.  I don't bake a lot at Christmas.  I've begun making candy.  I found a bag of my beloved Meyer lemons on the weekend and spent part of yesterday turning them into candied peel (and some bonus lemonade and Meyer lemon infused simple syrup). 

Yes, only one picture. Photoblogger I'm not.

I's so simple to make candied peel.  Last year I made quite a bit.  I love nibbling on it through the season.  The kitchen smelled amazing (until I shattered the plastic spray bottle of vinegar, anyway).

Candied Citrus Peel

2 Cups citrus peel

Boiling water

2 1/2 Cups white sugar, divided

1 Cup water

Scrub the fruit to remove any wax (organic is worth it here).  Peel it and cut the peel into strips (I make mine pretty narrow - think shoestring fry).  Place in a medium saucepan and cover with boiling water and simmer for 5 minutes.  Strain and repeat 2 more times (it helps to have a kettle of recently boiled water handy).  If you're doing grapefruit, you may want to repeat the process for a total of up to 5 times, as it tends to be more bitter.

Meanwhile, place 2 cups of sugar into a medium saucepan with 1 cup of water, over medium heat.  Stir to dissolve the sugar.  Add the blanched, strained peel and simmer for 45 minutes to 1 hour, until the peel is soft and translucent.

Strain the syrup into a container to save and spread the strips of peel on a wire rack set over foil or parchment.  Once cool, toss them in the remaining sugar.  Epiphany moment - I added a little citric acid as well, to cut some of the sweetness and complement the lemon flavour.  It's wonderful! Spread the pieces out again, keeping them separate, and leave them to dry for several hours, or overnight.

These can be dipped in chocolate, nibbled with a cheese and nut tray, or chopped up to add to fruit breads, muffins and cookies.

Oh, and I've also been replaying our kick off to Christmas last year.  The amazing Chorus Niagara Flash Mob that we got to witness.  Still the best way I've ever started the holidays!

Of Hallowe'en and Chicken Soup

It was a quiet Hallowe'en (am I the only one who still uses the ' in that word?).  Not just because there seemed to be fewer kids out and about, but also because 3 of the 4 of us were losing our voice.  Hubby stayed home from work (always nice on my birthday, which was also yesterday) because he "woke" -aka barely slept- with a really sore throat and almost no voice.  Never good when you have to do work in schools.  My voice was fine until the evening, and ditto Little Mister.  I caught a cold a couple of weeks ago, and am still coughing up a bit of the last of it, and the guys seem to have caught a bit of it now too.  Little Miss seems fine, after getting over it quickly already.

*Bunny trail - There weren't too many costumes last night that made me pause, though there were a few really over the top gory masks.  But there was this one... a girl of about 16 maybe, handing out candy with her mother.  Her dress was the Candyland game board.  Not sure where she got it, or if she found the fabric somewhere and made the dress, but either way there was a measurement issue, because not only was the dress SHORT, but let's just say that this girl's ample jujubes were spilling out of her candy bag. /Bunny trail

So today, with November here, and our routine back to normal after a fun filled evening of Trick or Treating, I've retrieved the capon carcass from Thanksgiving (remember U.S readers that Thanksgiving was nearly a month ago here) and I'm simmering it to make us a very nourishing stock for dinner.  I do not want a repeat of last February, when we lost the whole month to illness that consumed all of us.  And I've realized that our current diet is not exactly supporting our health.  We've been blessed lately with a little extra money, and sadly we've spent a disproportionate amount on take out and restaurant food.  *sigh*  I have no excuses to offer.  I just know that our current habit has contributed to our current lack of well being.  And I want to change that.

The stock is simmering.  The house smells amazing.  Like a warm, soothing hug wafting down the hallway.  Glorious healthy fat is rendering out, along with minerals and other assorted nutrients that will provide us with what we need to nourish our bodies, soothe sore throats and bring us together at the table (in our own home).  There is a whole head of garlic in the pot as well.  Little Mister has requested lentils and barley in his bowl (it's his favourite soup).  I think I want some noodles and hot sauce.  Hubby will want some actual meat in his, and Little Miss... I don't know that she has an opinion.  LOL

Full time blogging

So it's been nearly a month since my last entry.  I'd ask where the month went, but I haven't figured that out for the previous 9 months, so how would I know this time around?  It was the beginning of the month, then Thanksgiving, then general life, our anniversary, and now we're closing in on Hallowe'en, my birthday, the dawn of a new month, the holiday season whose name I will not mention until at least after Hallowe'en, if not until after Remembrance Day....  It's all going so quickly.

Clearly I would not make a good full time blogger.  Never mind that I do not know how to take blog-worthy photographs.  I can't seem to find the time to write when inspiration strikes, or the inspiration when time allows to blog every single day.  Or even every week!  Hopefully my followers are content with the posts which I do produce.

Speaking of time and it racing by, I am going to take a few moments to be deliberate about Autumn before allowing myself to slide into.... not going to say it.  I have a few pins on Pinterest that I can share...

Toothy pumpkins on my Holidays board

 A cool way to turn old books into Autumn decor

And the template hubby used last year for one of our Jack O Lanterns

He may do that one again this year.  It turned out really well.

We're not a family that is into gore or spooky stuff and whatnot, so I won't be baking Mummy cupcakes, or witches fingers or making up a batch of goblin phlegm punch or anything like that.  We're more into Autumn flavours than Hallowe'en creepiness. I've made butternut squash soup already, and I have been looking at a recipe for soft pumpkin dinner rolls that I want to try.  But no "Hallowe'en-y" stuff.  Though I do like to use the abundance of chocolate bars and Smarties to make cookies (for my U.S readers, Smarties here are like a much better version of your chocolate M&Ms.  Your Smarties are what we call "Rockets" and would not be good in baking).

It's October

The first weekend of October is nearly finished.  For us this weekend always means harvest festivals and a local food fest.  The weather has been cold, rainy, damp, wet, cold, cloudy, cold...  But we ventured out with the kids anyway, hitting up a favourite harvest fest for some games, prizes, cider and beeswax candles.  It was a hurried affair, as little fingers numbed in the cold and little noses turned bright red.  But asking them, the Littles say that they had a good time anyway.

After they tucked in to a welcome supper of veggie chili from the new crock pot, they got to hang out with my middle sister (and the aunt who delivered Little Miss) while hubby and I hit the local food festival.  It's a grand affair, made all the better this year by a return to the wide open space it occupied a couple of years ago (last year it was moved to some local streets, which resulted in a crowded mess of people, with lines from one vendor melding into lines for others, close calls with cigarettes, and a generally unpleasant experience all around).  The space allows for lines to come out from each vendor with no overlap, and provides a large area for picnic tables.  There is a lower level for the beer tent, stage and more seating.  It's really great.  There is also a market area that's supposed to showcase local growers, but honestly it was a disappointment.  There were scant few vendors, and among them was a corporate trailer handing out "natural" deli meat.  It's sad, because a few years ago there were so many vendors, selling produce, cheese, locally made condiments and sauces and so forth...

Given the very cool temps, I was looking forward to trying some soups.  But first, we stopped for an ear each of fire roasted corn, dipped in a crock pot of melted butter, and sprinkled with whatever seasoning one desires. I'm a bit of a purist and prefer salt, but I did try a little garlic powder. Meh.  I like my salt and butter combo best.

Then we split up to get some soup.  Hubby went for our yearly favourite - loaded baked potato soup.  I opted for some wonderful sounding cheddar beer soup, made by a local pub.  I know it was a long, cold day for everyone working there, but when the woman taking the orders went from cheerfully conversing with a friend to taking my order, her demeanor shifted to totally distracted and slightly annoyed.  She nearly forgot to even collect my money.

Speaking of which, I noticed the booth next door had on the bottom of their menu, "Bacon biscuits - 3 for $2, while they last."  Biscuits and soup are a great pairing, so I asked for 3.  The first sign that I should have just walked away came when I noticed the girl taking the money was wearing latex gloves.  Why wear gloves to handle money?  Then she reached into the bin and grabbed the biscuits.  Um, you just took my money and used the same gloved hand to touch my food?  I should have said something.  I don't know why I didn't.  I guess I figured it wouldn't matter.  Clearly they felt that the gloves somehow provided magical protection from any and all transfer of grossness from public money to the food (I've seen this same belief in magic in a local drug-free butcher shop where they handle the raw meat and deli meat with the same gloved hand).  I never did eat the biscuits, as the first tentative bite revealed them to be hockey pucks in disguise.  I got my money back.  I wonder if they tossed the un-nibbled biscuits back into the bin to serve the next unlucky people?

Back to the soup.  Hubby and I met back up and sat down to tuck in.  The cheddar beer soup was... well it was lumpy, with an awful lot of something... thyme perhaps?  No beer flavour at all.  Or cheese, for that matter.  The loaded potato soup I'd been looking forward to was not what I remember having the past few years.  It was actually kind of bland.  We needed to regroup and try something else.

A stop at a booth offering a sampling platter of samosas, gyozas, spring rolls and wings was infinitely better.  Though the wings were cold and fairly inedible, the rest was quite delicious.  I would eat their veggie samosas any day.

We still wanted some meat, though.  So we stopped by a booth run by a local butcher/deli for a chipotle steak sandwich.  A whole steak, pounded thin and marinated in a chipotle marinade was tossed onto the grill, not overcooked at all and put on a bun.  And I need to commend the woman handling the money and the buns.  Not once did she touch the food with her bare hand.  She used tongs and serviettes and did everything in her power to keep something between herself and the food.  I was well pleased to see that.  I was equally pleased that the steak was a tender treat, without the gristle that one might expect in a piece of steak that large that's sold for a mere $5.

Full of savoury goodness, we wandered over to line up for coffee (that was one line that never seemed to get shorter all night).  Though pricey ($2 for a relatively small cup), the warming goodness was much needed.  I popped next door for some freshly made mini-doughnuts.  While there was a gut-churning variety of fried foods available, none appealed to us besides these warm gems (deep fried butter, anyone?)

We took our warm food (and warming hands) to the lower area, where we were pleasantly surprised to hear the strains of music we've enjoyed in years past.  AC/DC, Poison, Guns and Roses, Queen...  Dancing with a warm coffee and warm doughnuts made for a warm body and happy me.

By the time we headed out, the wind had begun to pick up and the temperature dropped further.  It was a good time to leave, with bellies full of some good food, heads full of good music and the knowledge that we'll be back again next year.